I read this story recently in Eckhart Tolle’s book “A New Earth”…..There was a Zen Master named Hakuin who lived in Japan. He was well-known and people came to him from all over for spiritual guidance. When his neighbor’s teenage daughter got pregnant, she told her angry parents that it was the Zen Master next door who got her pregnant. The parents went right to Hakuin in anger over what their daughter just told them. His only response to them was “is that so?”

Of course – the scandal spread over the community very quickly and the Zen Master’s reputation was completely ruined. Nobody came to him anymore for teaching and he was shunned by the town. But he wasn’t troubled or bothered by this. When the baby was born, the teenager’s parents brought the baby to Hakuin and told him “you’re the father, so you look after him.” And that is just what the Zen Master did. He loved that baby and took care of it.

After a year had passed, the teenage mother confessed that she had lied about the identity of the father. The real father was a young man who worked at the butcher shop. When the parents learned of this lie, they went to Hakuin and apologized telling him that their daughter had lied and they are there to take the baby back. His only response, “is that so?”, as he handed the baby back to them.

The Zen Master responded to both lies and truth, good news and bad news, in the exact same way. “Is that so?” He allowed the moment to be what it was. To him there was only this moment, and this moment is as it is. No event that occurs is personalized and he never saw himself as a victim. He believed that the only way you are at the mercy of what happens is through resistance. If you resist what is happening – the world will determine your happiness and unhappiness.

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This story was so profound to me. It was a reminder that it truly doesn’t matter what any other person out there thinks of you. Only you have the power to let that affect your life. Someone believes something about you that is untrue? Respond with “is that so?” They can go on believing it and you can choose to let that be what it is and keep living your life in your truth.

He had the worst things said about him, and his entire community he lived in believed it. He didn’t even try to clear his name. He just let the situation be what it was and only stayed in the moment.

Yesterday as I was walking in the mall with my 11 year old, I was singing along to a song that was on. She said “ok mom, stop please.” I told her that I would rather just sing if I wanted to. That I understand I might be embarrassing sometimes – but that it truly doesn’t matter to me what anyone there thought if they heard me singing. We have this one life here and now and if we want to sing – just sing. People can have any thoughts and opinions they want about me and it doesn’t affect me unless I let it. And I knew she actually got it and agreed with me.

I have this quote by Marcus Aurelius printed in large font and stuck to our fridge, “If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself, but of your estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment.”

So I urge you to think over this story today with me. When something bad happens, can you stop and respond with “is that so?” You spill your coffee – you can get frustrated or upset or you can let the situation be what it is, clean up the mess and move on. Someone spreading an untruth about you? Can you respond with “is that so?” and not respond with resistance? I’m going to try today. I’m going to try to be aware of all those small moments where I can let the event be what it is. Be present in the moment and keep moving on. I’m sure I’ll stumble a lot, but I think it’s worth working on.

With lots of love,
Krysta