In the great age of social media – and being the age that I am, I see a LOT of posts asking for advice on parenting issues. I think it’s so great that we are able to reach a widespread number of people to get their take on things if we want to. But I also think it can get really noisy.

I truly think as parents, we already know what is best for our unique little human. There is no one-size-fits-all when it comes to parenting (or really much of anything in this complex life). You know what your kid needs. How many times have you posted something about parenting, got a lot of feedback, and realized you already had your mind made up about what was best for your family? Maybe you then found yourself defending your stance and feeling attacked or feeling shame around your own decisions? Just like there is no “one right” eating plan for all humans because we are all built differently and have different nutritional needs….there is no “one right” path in parenting decisions.

I struggle with guilt and shame sometimes. I wonder if I’m doing enough or making the right decisions. I think about past events and how I wish I could act and react differently. But the truth is – there is no way to ever know if our decisions are “right” or “wrong”. They just are. And then life happens. If we don’t like the outcome, we re-direct and shift and try new things. Just like every other aspect of our lives….parenting is no different.

What our kids need the most….our love. Out attention. Our real attention – being present. Even if you have pre-teen and teenage daughters like me and being present with them sometimes just means being “beside” them as they go about their normal activities. I found that time to be our most special in this season. The fact that they want to come upstairs and sit on the couch with me – even if they don’t feel like talking – just that they want to be near me sometimes…I cherish that. I give them their space when they need it and they know they always have a space near me when they want it.

You can’t make another human be what you want them to be (even the little humans!) They already are this super special, unique soul with their own path. You want them to grow up to be someone you’re proud of? Tell them right now how amazing they are. How proud you are of them – not just for their actions or their grades or their sports accomplishment. Tell them how proud you are to be their Mom just because they already are worthy as they are. What an amazing experience it is to witness them becoming the human that God designed them to be. Even if they do things and think things differently than you.

So of course, ask other parents for their ideas and feedback when you need a sounding board – but make sure to trust yourself and listen to your gut about your own kid. You were chosen to be their parent for a reason and you do know what you’re doing.

So much love,
Krysta