I’ve been on a really deep spiritual soul journey this year.

I mean, I’ve always been on it – but this year it has gone deeper than ever before. Not to beat a dead horse with the sober talk, but not having a sip of alcohol for 7 months has only helped me to go deeper. To heal at a way deeper level. To understand myself more clearly. To see the crutches I’ve used in the past because I wanted to dull the sharp, uncomfortable edges of life….of myself. I also spend most of my time alone, besides with my kids who are now teenagers and pre-teens and have lives of their own now. This intentional alone time has been instrumental in my journey this year as well. To sit with my own thoughts and emotions and not having anything to distract me.

I am a big fan of moving my body. I have been working out since after my kids were born. Before they were born, I wasn’t too interested in exercise. I am athletic and played sports in high school and loved them – and I loved being active in that way….but after high school I didn’t do much of anything in regards to moving my body.

I also drank zero water, and my main nutrition was probably chicken tenders and fries.

How things can change when you have children and want to be your best, healthiest, most vibrant self for them. So you can always be present and not miss anything. So not only did I start exercising – but I became really involved in health and fitness coaching for years.

In the last year I’ve gained weight. A good 10 pounds from where I was last year at this exact time. I know that aging and hormones plays a role in this because it gets harder to maintain/lose weight as you get older. I still eat pretty good most of the time, definitely eating way more sweets this year than normal….but I always move my body. Every single day. But still the scale stays up.

I think this is a necessary part of my journey. I think for a long time I identified too closely with my body as part of who I am. Part of this character I’m playing on this human experience. I think I needed to kind of strip that away. I also know some of this might make zero sense to someone reading this…and that’s ok.

But we are not our bodies. We HAVE bodies. We are souls who happen to be using a body as a vehicle here. They all look different and that’s a beautiful part of being human. But we can, especially as females in our society, become far too attached with what our bodies look like. Our egos feel more secure when we are more pleased with our body shape…..when we feel we are attractive to others.

But how does having 10 more lbs of body and looking different in the mirror really mean anything? Am I healthy? Yes. Am I strong? Yes. Do I work hard to take care of myself every single day? Yes. Do I love cookies and brownies when someone bakes them at my house? Big time yes. 🙂

In the process of stripping away anything that isn’t my true self – I think this journey with my body is a very necessary one. Some days I get down on myself if I don’t treat my body great with some nutrition choices – but I’m working really hard to just be in the present moment. To enjoy life as it comes and to not be so concerned about how flat my stomach might look. Because honestly – who cares? Will I care when I’m 75 years old? Will I think back like “oh man, I wish I was thinner back then – I really would have been so much happier?” Absolutely not. Zero people look back and think those things. But people do look back and wish they would have enjoyed life more, given themselves a little more grace, and actually loved their bodies more.

I am thankful for this body. It’s gotten me through life so far. I have birthed two actual humans. And it allows me to move every day to keep my energy levels up and my brain healthier. So today I choose to be thankful for all that my body does for me.

I hope you can too. And if your ego tries to chime in and tell you that you’re not good enough because of what you see in the mirror, kindly tell that voice to shut it’s face. 🙂

With so much love,
Krysta